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美女申博士的PS,来高手帮忙看下,修改,谢谢!

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发表于 2010-5-4 21:30:14 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
[SIZE="3"]        I am writing to apply for postgraduate study in the Department of ***. My years of study to date have helped me to know myself better and I recognize that I am driven by a deep scientific curiosity. I understand that through a successful PhD program I will develop theoretical, technical, communication and personal skills. I want to become a world-class researcher in these areas.
        I am a self-reliant person, and have a strong sense of responsibility, that has much relevance to my parents’ childhood education. From a child, my parents allow me to make decisions by myself and they trust me. When I was 17 years old, I was admitted into Nanjing University of Science and Technology(NJUST), one of the top universities in China. I began my university life where is 2300 kilometers away from my hometown. My university life was colorful and it’s a turning point in my life. Because of the regional differences in the development of basic education in China, some students had already got ahead of me. But I like the competition; it gives me the power to go forward. At the first, I defeat them in learning since I spent a semester in diligent and highly effective study, my rank in the class soared from the half to NO.3. Secondly, I run for student leader and won by giving a speech in front of 655 students. My excellent performance in study and leadership brought me awards every year and I finished my university study as an “Outstanding Graduates”. Steve Jobs says when you are in college, your passion will create many dots, and later in your life you will connect them. Yes, there is not only learning, but also the passion in my university life, such as making friends, travelling, reading at the library and so on. I began to know German by library, German arts, German spirits, and German development and so on.
        I involved in research at my junior year at NJUST. I took part in the National Collegiate Competition of Traffic Science with my four friends as a team. We designed unsignalized intersection which has three levels, the ground level might be for the North-South vehicles, the middle level for pedestrians and bicycles, the bottom level for East-West vehicles. By separating traffic flow, the delay might be reduce to 0. We worked for the design after midnight sometimes. What some busy but rewarding days! During the period of preparing for the competition, I have accumulated experiences of building model, calculating relevant parameters, making a demo by 3Ds Max and answering with PPT before six experts. Although we only won the second place at NJUST, the experience sparked my interest in traffic research. Therefore, I decided to continue my research work and succeeded in the examination of Transportation Control Laboratory (TCL) at Jilin University (JLU) with honors which is one of the most prestigious universities in China.
        JLU is at the leading position in this area in China, listed as national key construction subject. TCL is an excellent laboratory. The tutor is the famous traffic control expert, has abundant experience and research projects. So everyone was assigned research task after entering TCL. The senior students who gave me a lot of help and guidance are in high academic standard. I completed my three-year graduate study in this academic environment.
        At the first, I took over the task of traffic impact analysis which contains some sections, such as traffic investigation, data processing and analysis, traffic volume forecast, traffic organization design and traffic simulation. During this course, I mastered the model use of traffic forecast, evaluation methods of traffic efficiency, Matlab, SPSS, Vissim, etc.
        And then, I joined the project team of “the Plan and Function Evaluation of City’s Interactions”, a national project cooperating with other three key laboratories. JLU is responsible for sub-project of “Signal Coordination Control Technology of Intersections Based on Mixed Traffic Flow”. The aim of the sub-project is proposing the intersection signal coordination technology which is suitable for my country’s traffic flow character and compiling a book <Traffic Signal Design Manual >. I was in charge of the research on signal coordination for midblock pedestrian crossing and adjacent intersections. I got familiar with Guidelines for Traffic Signal (RiLSA, Germany), Manual on Uniform Traffic Control Devices (MUTCD, America) and some existing Chinese manuals, learned Traffic Flow Theory, Traffic Control Theory, Gap Acceptance Theory as well as the control principles and algorithms of some famous control system, such as TRANSYT, SCOOT and SCATS. I found the midblock crossing was considered as a cross-shaped intersection of two phases in these control system and coordinated them. However, the pedestrians are different from the vehicles, they have their characters, the tolerance limit of pedestrian crossing should be taken into account when designing signal. Through my research, I got pedestrian signal design basis and the method of pedestrian signal coordination. Finally, we completed our project successfully and made a series of research results, I also finished my master’s thesis upon on this project.
        In addition, I researched the development history of bicycle transportation in China and predicted the development trends of bicycle transportation and the development prospective of public bicycles in my country. Besides all, I was involved in some other projects in my laboratory, such as national projects “Signal Control Technique of Transit Priority Network”,”Research on Control Tactics and Method for the Coordination of Urban Motorways”,”Research on Dynamic Transportation Management of Urban Street Network and Control Key Theory and Simulation Technique”,”Estimation Method of Traffic Carrying Capacity of Urban Street Network”. These precious experiences provided firm background knowledge.
        The transportation problems involving the traffic accidents, jams, pollutions, may become a difficulty the whole world must face up to. Traffic engineering jobs are very beneficial. I think one of the solutions is to hold the information of the whole street network and travelers and take full advantage of limited road resources by route distribution. It’s a big challenge to the road transportation and Internet. My research interests are signal control optimization, information acquisition and road resources distribution. Although it would be better to research pedestrian traffic, mixed traffic control, signal coordination, intelligent transportation control on the basic of my master’s research, I also can do other related traffic issues relaying on the projects, because I am clever and the knowledge is relative.
        The reason for me to continue a postgraduate study in Germany is because of its excellent research standards in my preferred and prospective area. There are many vehicles in Germany, but the transportation goes on pretty good order. German transportation engineers solve traffic jams by staggered rush hour plan and the advanced intelligent traffic network and traffic control strategy. Besides, *** has strong research facility in transportation management and control areas. It would provide the best environment for my further education. With my broad background, solid foundations and keen interest in this field, I am confident that I can succeed in my doctoral studies. I think PhD program offers advantages fit with my future career plans. After obtaining the PhD degree, I will come back to China and continue my research in this area.[/SIZE]
发表于 2010-5-11 09:31:39 | 显示全部楼层
嘿嘿,很多很多问题啊:
先不说美女和恐龙的问题,不过,外国人里面从没有人这样写的:
“because I am clever and the knowledge is relative”
另外,废话太多而没有实际内容. 你以为离家2300公里是个什么特别概念?
重点是你做过什么,能做什么、想做什么,对别人正在做的什么工作有一点什么想法和认识。
不过,我就只帮这么多。
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发表于 2010-5-14 06:33:14 | 显示全部楼层
好多字啊~~~

为什么不可以把经历介绍放到CV中。信件简单明了写目的不就好了。

没有申请过博后~~~行外感觉~~~
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发表于 2010-5-14 11:33:38 | 显示全部楼层
PS:1.精简个人情况.
    2.建议找个外国朋友od.在外面读书的同学帮你改下,好多话好别扭,不地道。
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发表于 2010-5-14 11:34:29 | 显示全部楼层
词用的生硬,不优美。
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发表于 2010-12-31 15:27:38 | 显示全部楼层
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