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楼主: elisa

有给我类似情况的吗?你们是怎么处理的呢?

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发表于 2004-2-14 21:51:09 | 显示全部楼层

one suggestion!!!!

During you wait for the visa,you should read some books of a japanese author names "Chun Shang Cun Shu".it´s  maybe useful for your case.try it once!or let your BF. read the short novel "the sea change" of Ernest Hemingway,
 楼主| 发表于 2004-2-14 21:59:15 | 显示全部楼层
the sea chang的中文名叫什么啊?
发表于 2004-2-14 22:15:18 | 显示全部楼层

sorry,i´m afraid...

i don´t know,that´s one of my homework from my english professor.damn it! he is the fan of Hemingway,but i am also.
发表于 2004-2-14 22:23:47 | 显示全部楼层

The Sea Change

The author, Warren Bennett in @!#$ Identity in “The Sea
> Change, argues that the point of the story is the loss of
> Phil’s masculinity when he performed feminine @!#$ acts (oral
> @!#$) with his girlfriend instead of masculine @!#$ acts.

[I would certainly like to see the evidence from the story that supports the *precise and exclusive* idea that Phil "performed feminine...acts...instead of masculine...acts," although the lines,

"I'm sorry," she said, "if you don't understand."
"I understand. That's the trouble. I understand"

would certainly allow such an interpretation - but among others; because the later remarks, like

"No," she said. "We're made up of all sorts of things. You've known that. You've used it well enough."

suggest an indefinite range of Phil's @!#$ interests, from "watching" to enthusiastic engagement with multiple @!#$ partners of either or both es. An undeniable point is that "old Phil" may well be partially responsible for his lady's turn to this @!#$ affair, but whether this occurred because Phil "performed feminine ...acts" - and how is oral @!#$ between a man and a woman to be considered exclusively "feminine"? - or by some other means remains unclear.


The
> title is one of those two cushion shots Hemingway spoke of,
> referring to the Sea Change used in Eliot’s The Wasteland
> instead of Shakespeare. He quotes this…
>
> A current under the sea
> Picked his bones in whispers. As he rose and fell
> He passed the stages of his age and youth
> Entering the whirlpool.
> …………………………
> Consider Phlebas, who was once handsome and tall as you.

[Is this Hemingway's own observation, or is it Bennet's? Hemingway's famous/infamous remark about the relative value of the works of Conrad ( was it?)and those of Eliot suggests Hemingway referred exclusively to Shakespeare in this title.]


> In the story’s denouement, old James is the embodiment of the
> sea-changed self-image that old Phil sees reflected in the
> mirror behind the bar. The image that Phil sees is the image
> of a Paris man, an indoor man, a sunless man.

[At this point, the *text* calls Phil "the brown young man." That is what he sees in the mirror. That this should be extended to his also seeing "a Paris man, an indoor man, a sunless man" seems something of a stretch, although Phil's - what? - possible destiny to be a "James" is inarguable. At the moment, Phil is one of those served by James, the whole company of men here, and Phil's easily, "comfortably" joining them suggesting his refuge in a homoual world - just as his departing lady has done. ]


The face is as
> “white” as a white “jacket.” He is getting “fatter,” and it
> is “terrible…the way he puts it on.” Phil/James is the end
> product of disillusionment, a person who can observe a
> “handsome young couple,” watch them “break up,” and not even
> be “thinking about this.” In his feminization he will serve
> homouals and ask them to “trust” him, as a female once
> asked him, “Don’t you trust me?”

[This is an excellent point definitively linking the barman and his world with the lady and hers, and strongly emphasizing the homoual nature of the group at the bar. But...}

He may still agree that
> “Vice…is a very strange thing,” but since he no longer thinks
> about coupling – having lost his @!#$ identity and his lust –
> his one obsession or addiction will be gambling on the
> horses. He will pass the hours of his day waiting, not for a
> girl, but to find out if a “horse has won.” Sea nymphs will
> ring the knell of a man once handsome and tall

[...but this extension of the James' /Phil's image suggests that Phil is eventually to be relieved of the pain of loss of his lady; his "story" is to end happily. (Do we/does Hemingway want *that*?)
>
> There is no reference to Phil as a writer who would use his
> girlfriend's ism as the source of a story.

[No. But why should there be?]

>
> Interesting.
 楼主| 发表于 2004-2-14 22:40:52 | 显示全部楼层
哇!好长的英语
我看不懂的说
发表于 2004-2-15 09:50:23 | 显示全部楼层
嘿嘿~
楼主~偶觉得暂时分开~感情考验嘛~值得哈~
经得住考验滴感情是幸福地~是令人羡慕滴~
偶奏怕麻烦~所以在决定去德国的时候就开始控制感情啦~
嘿嘿``
事实证明~粉正确粉正确哈~嘿``
 楼主| 发表于 2004-2-15 15:56:21 | 显示全部楼层
控制感情?
好熟悉的短语啊
他也是这样说的
你是男生吗?
为什么男生都可以这么理性?
那么,如果是真感情,说控制就能控制的吗?
发表于 2004-2-15 20:28:04 | 显示全部楼层
最初由 爱琴海 发表
[B]呵呵,楼主别担心,出去之后有可能你的想法会完全改变

很多事情,环境一变,原来的担忧就不复存在了。结果只有两个,无论你是否担忧,该来的总要去面对的。想逃也逃不掉。 [/B]


希望快点忘记吧.....但是有时越不想想就越会想...现在我的学习动力逐渐减退了....真的很担心自己...在这准备起跑的一刻突然出现了信念动摇...很害怕...

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发表于 2004-2-15 20:33:35 | 显示全部楼层
最初由 elisa 发表
[B]控制感情?
好熟悉的短语啊
他也是这样说的
你是男生吗?
为什么男生都可以这么理性?
那么,如果是真感情,说控制就能控制的吗? [/B]


不是所以男生都是那样的~我就是例外.. 男生也是有感情的人,我就是因为不能很好的感情控制力~所以搞到现在很烦恼~ 也许是第一次接触恋爱吧....下次的分手可能就没有那样的感觉啦~但是还是期望天长地久啦~呵呵~对吗?楼住?

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发表于 2004-2-15 21:43:53 | 显示全部楼层
最初由 elisa 发表
[B]控制感情?
好熟悉的短语啊
他也是这样说的
你是男生吗?
为什么男生都可以这么理性?
那么,如果是真感情,说控制就能控制的吗? [/B]

在感情的现在时~都是很迷茫的~想占有~也许是内心害怕受伤容易受伤~其实跳出来~试着放松一下~也许你会看到不一样的天空``这所谓的跳出来奏是传说中滴控制感情~让感情慢一点哈~嘿。。。
发表于 2004-2-15 22:14:50 | 显示全部楼层
鄙视会控制感情的所有人。没有人的味道。怕痛。所以自私。
发表于 2004-2-16 02:54:00 | 显示全部楼层
 楼主| 发表于 2004-2-16 11:11:27 | 显示全部楼层
最初由 猛龙过江 发表
[B]希望快点忘记吧.....但是有时越不想想就越会想...现在我的学习动力逐渐减退了....真的很担心自己...在这准备起跑的一刻突然出现了信念动摇...很害怕... [/B]


经过爱情的人都会知道,越想忘记的人越办不到.回忆总在记忆里抛锚......
也许当你不介意在想起他(她)的时候,你才是真正的释然了
那需要时间......也许很长......
 楼主| 发表于 2004-2-16 11:20:14 | 显示全部楼层
最初由 猛龙过江 发表
[B]不是所以男生都是那样的~我就是例外.. 男生也是有感情的人,我就是因为不能很好的感情控制力~所以搞到现在很烦恼~ 也许是第一次接触恋爱吧....下次的分手可能就没有那样的感觉啦~但是还是期望天长地久啦~呵呵~对吗?楼住? [/B]


我不知道感情应该怎样去控制.为什么要控制?
有爱为什么不去呵护它,释放它?为什么要压抑,要扼杀?
难道在控制的过程中就不会有痛吗?

天长地久是一个很神圣的成语
有谁不想呢?
我已经习惯了跟他一起笑,一起吃饭,一起看录象,一起......
习惯了在他怀里哭,习惯了他身上独有的味道......
习惯了他的一切
不想再改变
可是,......
 楼主| 发表于 2004-2-16 11:23:27 | 显示全部楼层
最初由 楚楚 发表
[B]鄙视会控制感情的所有人。没有人的味道。怕痛。所以自私。 [/B]


说的没错
可是,我不想去怪他,我也不会怪他
他没有错
只是他比我现实
发表于 2004-2-16 11:29:41 | 显示全部楼层
剪不断,理还乱.
该割舍就割舍吧..........有些事情不是我们能做到的.
也许这就是缘分吧~!
发表于 2004-2-16 11:32:18 | 显示全部楼层
有些东西,事情不是我们所能看见,预料得……说不定下一秒奇迹就出现了。
 楼主| 发表于 2004-2-16 11:35:00 | 显示全部楼层
我不奢望会有奇迹出现
如果有奇迹出现
那么这样的结果还会重演一场
毕竟,理想敌不过现实~
发表于 2004-2-16 13:18:34 | 显示全部楼层
所谓的控制感情不是压抑不是隐藏~
不会控制感情是因为还不够理性~
不是因为他们怕受伤~不是因为他们自私~
是因为他们现实~
他们看到了肆意让感情跑出来的结果~
女人多数都很感性~跟着感觉走~
鄙视控制感情的人是你的权利哈~
木过涅~
只要不怕受伤~就勇敢滴冲吧~
楼主~
现实是决定感情上层建筑的基础~
少点期望``就少点失望~
嘿``
发表于 2004-2-16 13:23:51 | 显示全部楼层
回忆都应该是美好的~
从分手或者从决定放手的那一刻起~
经过时间沉淀后~
回头看看~
都是快乐``都是笑声``都是幸福的记忆``
楼主丫``试试``
你滴图图很pp哈``
发表于 2004-2-16 15:30:06 | 显示全部楼层
别难过,我当初也选者了分手,等他一离开那刻起,我仿佛也同时丢失了自己……太爱了,所以现在我也准备读德语去德国找他了。当初我什么都考虑到,却唯一没有想到,我也要追他而去……所以我说,事情总有转机的时候,只是看我们是否把握住了。
如果害怕了,那么就放弃,没有人会责备的,现实就是这样……
如果还爱着,那么我想他会和我一样,追到德国去的……
上帝让我们相识、相知、相爱……
 楼主| 发表于 2004-2-16 16:48:51 | 显示全部楼层
最初由 meying 发表
[B]回忆都应该是美好的~
从分手或者从决定放手的那一刻起~
经过时间沉淀后~
回头看看~
都是快乐``都是笑声``都是幸福的记忆``
楼主丫``试试``
你滴图图很pp哈`` [/B]


回忆是美好啊
那是两个人幸福的定格
 楼主| 发表于 2004-2-16 16:52:53 | 显示全部楼层
最初由 我是你的牙牙 发表
[B]别难过,我当初也选者了分手,等他一离开那刻起,我仿佛也同时丢失了自己……太爱了,所以现在我也准备读德语去德国找他了。当初我什么都考虑到,却唯一没有想到,我也要追他而去……所以我说,事情总有转机的时候,只是看我们是否把握住了。
如果害怕了,那么就放弃,没有人会责备的,现实就是这样……
如果还爱着,那么我想他会和我一样,追到德国去的……
上帝让我们相识、相知、相爱…… [/B]


谢谢你的安慰
他跟你不一样,他很现实,太现实了
他放弃了
但我不会怪他,永远不会
因为我不能给他他想要的
所以,我也应该放弃
很爱很爱你,所以愿意舍得让你向更多幸福地方飞去......
发表于 2004-2-16 22:18:54 | 显示全部楼层
最初由 elisa 发表
[B]说的没错
可是,我不想去怪他,我也不会怪他
他没有错
只是他比我现实 [/B]


对不起:)真的并没有针对某个人的意思。

真心相爱的人,是会幸福的!~
 楼主| 发表于 2004-2-16 22:25:56 | 显示全部楼层
最初由 楚楚 发表
[B]对不起:)真的并没有针对某个人的意思。

真心相爱的人,是会幸福的!~ [/B]


理解,你不用说对不起的
我也是这样认为的

即使他这样想我也不怪他
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